Learning to Love

When we are open to learning about ourselves, and realize that everything is fundamentally about us, then we get the joy of seeing how many opportunities life presents to us to grow and truly see who we are. I had probably the most profound example of this last weekend when I was at a writers conference in New York put on by Hay House. I emailed Hay House ahead of the conference to see if they knew of anyone who would like to share a hotel room since the cost of a hotel in Manhattan runs around $350 to $400 a night. They did and so I connected with my new roomie from New Jersey.

At 3:00 Friday afternoon I was sitting in my hotel lobby waiting to check in, exhausted from being up and on the go since 4:00 a.m. As I was sitting there my new roommate walked in, immediately engaged in conversation with a handsome stranger, quickly said hello to me, and started what I would call preaching to this man about her book. All I was thinking was this woman could not be more different than who I am. She appeared to have no boundaries. As the weekend went on she pushed away almost everyone she talked to. Every word that came out of her mouth was negative and critical. People would literally get up and move to another seat to avoid her! And so I was left wondering why I had called her energy into my experience. I got my answer.

On the second day we did a values activity where we were asked to circle a 2 1/2 page list of values, picking the ones that most resonated with who we are, narrowing our list down to four core values. I ended up with compassion, love, spiritual and peaceful. People were then invited to go the the microphone and share their values to receive some coaching from Cheryl Richardson, a well-published Hay House author and life coach. She helped one person identify that sometimes what we list as a value is really a need in our life..... Interesting. Then another person went up whose values were similar to mine, including love. Cheryl quickly honed in on this woman and asked her if she has love in her life. I immediately was moved to tears. There was some truth there for me. In that moment I realized what my roommate was mirroring to me. I fully embrace that the people in our lives are mirroring what we believe about ourselves or what we don't want to see about ourselves. It is a great opportunity to learn and grow when we are willing. This woman from New Jersey was clearly not loving herself and I now saw that the same was true for me. Its outward appearance was very different in her, compared to me. Perhaps it had to be that blatantly obvious in order for me to get it. It worked. I'm still not sure how to step into loving myself or where it needs fixing but I know it's important to find it.

Sometimes life delivers unexpected gifts ~ in unexpected places. I consider myself a very loving person, and I'm sure those around me would say the same. Now it is time to turn that love light inwards. Learning to love myself is perhaps what I need the most on my journey to becoming a successfully published author!